For most American funerals, wear conservative clothing in dark or muted colors, such as a dark suit or dress, simple shoes and minimal accessories. The goal is to look respectful and not draw attention to yourself. If the family asks for something different, such as bright colors or a favorite sports team, follow their wishes.
This guide covers what to wear for different kinds of services, for men, women and children, and how religious and cultural traditions can change the dress code.
The general rule: modest, neat and muted
Black is the traditional color of mourning in the US, but it is not required. Navy, charcoal, dark gray, dark brown and dark green are all widely accepted. Muted patterns such as subtle pinstripes or small prints are usually fine.
Clothing to avoid at most services:
- Bright or neon colors, unless the family requests them
- Revealing clothing, very short hemlines or low necklines
- Clothing with large logos, slogans or graphics
- Athletic wear, flip-flops or beachwear
- Heavy perfume or cologne, which can bother others in close quarters
- Flashy jewelry or accessories
When in doubt, dress one level more formally than you think you need to.
What to wear by type of service
| Type of gathering | Typical dress |
|---|---|
| Traditional funeral at a church or funeral chapel | Business formal: suit or dark dress, closed-toe shoes |
| Visitation or viewing | Business or business casual, still in muted colors |
| Graveside service | Business or business casual, with footwear and outerwear suited to grass and weather |
| Memorial service or celebration of life | Often business casual; follow any family request about color or theme |
| Religious services (Jewish, Muslim, Orthodox, Hindu, Buddhist) | Modest dress, with specific customs noted below |
| Livestreamed service watched from home | No dress code, though many people dress neatly as a sign of respect |
If you are not sure what kind of gathering it is, our guide on viewing vs visitation vs wake explains the differences.
What men can wear
- Suit: A dark suit in black, navy or charcoal is the safest choice for a funeral service.
- Shirt: A white or light-colored dress shirt.
- Tie: A dark or subdued tie. Avoid novelty ties.
- Shoes: Polished dress shoes in black or dark brown, with dark socks.
- Without a suit: Dark dress pants with a collared shirt and a sweater or sport coat is acceptable at most visitations and many services.
- Hats: Remove hats indoors at most Christian services. At a Jewish service, men are often asked to wear a kippah (yarmulke), which is usually provided.
What women can wear
- Dress or skirt: A dark dress or skirt that reaches at least to the knee, with covered shoulders or a cardigan or jacket.
- Pantsuit or dress pants: Dark trousers with a blouse or sweater are fully appropriate.
- Shoes: Closed-toe flats, low heels or simple boots. For a graveside service, choose shoes that will not sink into soft ground.
- Accessories: Simple jewelry, a small handbag and minimal makeup.
- Head covering: Bring a scarf if you are attending a mosque, an Orthodox Christian church, a Sikh gurdwara or some Orthodox Jewish services, where women are often expected to cover their hair.
What children can wear
Children should be dressed neatly and comfortably in muted colors. For younger children, a plain shirt with dark pants or a simple dress is enough; they do not need a suit. Avoid clothing with loud characters or slogans. Comfortable shoes help, since services can be long and there may be walking at the cemetery.
Religious and cultural considerations
Customs vary within each tradition and from family to family. The following are common patterns, not strict rules. Our guide on religious funeral customs has more detail.
- Catholic and Protestant services: Conservative dark clothing is customary. Shoulders are usually covered in church.
- Jewish funerals: Dark, modest clothing. Men often wear a kippah. Close family members may wear a torn black ribbon or a torn garment (keriah), which guests do not.
- Muslim funerals: Very modest clothing that covers arms and legs. Women usually cover their hair. Shoes are removed before entering the prayer area of a mosque, so wear clean socks.
- Eastern Orthodox funerals: Modest dark clothing. Women may be expected to cover their hair and wear a skirt, depending on the parish.
- Hindu funerals: White, rather than black, is the traditional mourning color. Guests usually wear simple white or light-colored clothing. Shoes may be removed.
- Buddhist funerals: Customs vary widely by tradition. White is traditional in many East Asian Buddhist cultures, while black or muted colors are common in others. Modest, plain clothing is appropriate.
- Military funerals: Veterans and active-duty guests may wear uniform. Civilians wear standard funeral attire.
If you are unsure, it is acceptable to ask the funeral home or a family friend what is expected. Funeral directors at funeral chapels and faith-specific funeral homes are used to answering this question.
Celebrations of life and requests for color
More families now hold a celebration of life, sometimes in a park, restaurant or home rather than a church or funeral home. These often have a more relaxed dress code. The obituary or invitation may ask guests to wear the person's favorite color, a team jersey, Hawaiian shirts or something else that reflects their personality.
When the family makes a specific request, follow it. Wearing the requested color is a way of honoring the person, and dressing in black instead can feel out of step. If there is no request, smart business casual in muted tones is a safe choice.
Weather and outdoor services
- Cold weather: A dark wool coat or neutral overcoat is ideal. Bring gloves and a hat for the graveside.
- Rain: A plain dark umbrella and waterproof shoes. Funeral homes often have umbrellas at the cemetery, but bring your own if you can.
- Hot weather: Lightweight fabrics in muted colors. A short-sleeved dress shirt without a jacket is generally acceptable at an outdoor summer service.
- Grass and uneven ground: Avoid stiletto heels at graveside services, since they sink into the ground.
A quick checklist
- Check the obituary or invitation for any dress request.
- Choose dark or muted colors and modest cuts.
- Pick comfortable, closed-toe shoes suited to the location.
- Bring a scarf or head covering for religious services that require one.
- Keep jewelry, fragrance and accessories simple.
- Plan for the weather if there is a graveside service.
For other questions about behavior at a service, see our guide to funeral etiquette.